I carry Christ

...how he loves

2009-10-17T00:22:00.000+03:00

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

...a moment

2009-10-15T02:19:00.002+03:00

tonight as i listened to some music i felt something stir in my spirit. i have tried to capture that moment in the poem below.

The grace of my Lord is like the tree of the field,

Delicate in its intricacies, yet containing a strength that no storm can break.

Not simply does it reflect the light of His love,

Adding to it with a dimension that the human eye cannot grasp,

But that moves the heart of all broken men to reach for it.

It is a grace that is not to be stopped by iniquity or failure,

Grace that destroys the great obstructions of sin and death,

Taking with it hopelessness that endeavours to remain

Like the tide waters that smash down on beaches daily,

It cannot be held back, refreshing wherever it goes.

Within the dry and thirsty places of our hearts His grace can flood,

Bringing life brand new, bursting old barriers, breaking down past hindrances.

Our minds cannot fathom it’s unsearchable depths,

Our emotions cannot cope with the eruption of joy that springs from a heart watered by the grace of our Master.

Spirits can once more shall soar, feet will walk without growing weary.

And this shall be a new day when our obedience is not drawn out of duty,

But sprung from overflowing grace poured down from the Cross of Christ.

... doesnt look a thing like Jesus

2009-09-10T02:03:00.003+03:00

A few years ago in a conversation about church, a friend piped up, “Well, if you look at it Jesus was probably the worst church planter ever!”

Obviously we all stared at him outraged, shocked and a few of us laughed. What a stupid thing to say, Jesus the Saviour of the world author and finisher of our faith was ‘worst’ at church planting.

Sounds really terrible doesn’t it?!

However a couple of weeks ago this comment again arose in conversation. My fiancé’s brother dropped a bomb part way through our snide remark making,

“If you think about it he was actually right.”

Again, the shocked and appalled looks covered our faces, but it turns out it wasn’t the stupidest idea ever considered. Far from it.

If you take a look at the church we have today and then at what happened with Jesus you’d have to agree that the two ideas don’t correlate. Jesus never had a building, a brand, a logo, a mission statement[1], an album, a children’s ministry held somewhere else separately etc. etc. What looked the most like church was the order of the Pharisees, who totally religious inside and out in the way they lived out their lives.

Jesus was not a sensible pastor[2] or church planter[3] as we would see it. He did not have a catch-phrase or tag-line, and very rarely watered down His message to seek converts or keep disciples[4]. At no point did He apply business methods to His message[5] and there wasn’t any singles ministry or youth workers. Plus controversially for the UK church He was overwhelmingly interested in the nation of Israel. The list of differences is actually quite alarming.

So technically speaking from a 21^st century Christian’s viewpoint Jesus was a terrible church planter, he started absolutely nothing that we would consider church. Further than that He would most probably have been kicked out of quite a few churches in the west for one or two other things. He certainly wouldn't be a leader, a consultant, church brand agent, a youth worker, administrator, elder or deacon.

I find that so utterly terrifying!

We look nothing like Jesus.

The western church, part of the body of Christ doesn’t resemble Jesus at all. And probably wouldn't have any space for Him just as a regualr 'lay' member.

I think we might be in trouble folks.

We need to change drastically, dramatically and soon.

[1] Luke 4:18 is the closest we get to a mission statement from Jesus, yet it really doesn’t fit the modern use of mission statement because Jesus is recorded as having said it more than once. Neither does He have it written down in three simple points on all His Church literature (?).

[2] John 13:21-27. Surely that’s not good pastoral work.

[3] Luke 10:9-11

[4] John 6:53-66

[5] Luke 9:48 is a good place to start for considering business methods within following Jesus. Business is always about success of self, here Jesus denies that straight out. Therefore maybe we should be a lot more careful in applying the same methods from business into faith. Just because we have a message does not mean we have a product to sell and a company to promote.

erm...i dont think i need to go to church (part 3a)

2009-06-11T17:25:00.005+03:00

in the last blog i tried to highlight the fact that when we GO TO church we usually have our starting point as our opinion. any christian who has read any of the new testament can tell that this is not a healthy place to be.

there is however another just as worrying issue for the christian GOING TO church. that is that doing so can become the most important and central focus of life. there is a trend within churches for members to have priorities that are over and above anything else, meetings suddenly take the place of people. schedules and curriculums take prescendence over sympathy or urgency. the instituition becomes that which is built instead of the love amongst the people of that 'church'.

without careful thought 'churches' become businesses with spheres of influence, that go for growth and indulge in marketing and branding their identities. increasingly we see God loving christians who are drawn into assessing their 'churches' growth and their 'churches' giving, in an effort to grow.

it pains me to see this detatchment of the christian from the 'church', it seems that we are now the staff that make the church run...

evangelism is recruiting
tithing is buying shares other
churches are competitors
meetings are the focus
the pastor is the chairman of the board whose decision is final.

isn't it scary to see these things so entrenched in our faith? and it's the simple act of losing track of being the church that does it.

for if we are the church then the priorities change. firstly and most obviously 'church' stops meaning just the community we are apart of and their goals and becomes the body of Jesus on earth. we become the body rather than head.

Jesus is in charge not us.
it's his timetable not ours.
we are all under his leadership.
following him means that we are united together not competitive.
it's people as priorities.
meetings as a means not an end.

ultimately the more we are the church the more we realise those responsibilities that our 'churches' handled are ours personally. helping the poverty stricken, caring for the unloved, mending the hurting, helping the widow and the single mum all these things become our task.
us via Jesus' life inside us.

it's cutting out the middle man.

we usually blame our 'church' for failing or our the 'churches' leaders for not listening to us.

try that when you know in your heart you are the church and Jesus is the leader.

erm...i dont think i need to go to church (part 2)

2009-06-06T23:48:00.008+03:00

' We do not GO TO church, we ARE the church. '

now to explain myself. the part 1 was clearly an attempt at shock and awe, you may have felt it was shockingly awful. but you're back and that's something im gonna try and reward with an explanation:

going to somewhere and being something are two very different things.

example.

going to finland and being a finn.

in the summer of 2007 i went to live in the great city of Helsinki in finland. i spent 11 months and 4 days in the country and loved it. almost as soon as i had spent a few hours with my friends there i could say quite honestly that the place felt like home. by the end of my time there i spoke some finnish, had sat naked in saunas (finnish tradition), eaten salmiaki (finnish liquorice) and stayed in a finnish summer cottage. i did all that i to become as finnish as I could. my friends there i now count as family, yet after all that time, i still feel different from them.

because as much as i went there and did my best to be finnish, i'm not.

it was something i had to try and do.

i had to put effort into it.

i needed to squash my natural reactions, language and thought patterns at least a hundred times a day. it wasn't me, even though i changed and experienced amazing finnish things, i still was as an englishman in helsinki.

you see being church means that all your values, ideals, hopes and dreams are in line naturally with Christ. it means that the grace of Christ's sacrifice has transformed you into something other, " ...I no longer live, but Christ lives in me." you aren't ‘chris’ you are ‘a body carrying Jesus around inside you’. It means you are Jesus, as in his views opinions, desires , hopes are yours. things that you cannot separate from yourself

if i was finnish, i wouldn't have been in chris in Helsinki who tried to be finnish, i would have been krisu helsingissa,

“ moi! ma oon krisu!”.

you see going to church means that you ‘spend time in a group or building with your views, opinions and attitudes’. it works most of the time, and most enjoy it when they've found a place that suits their opinions. they learn and grow a little. others find that things start to disagree with their views and leave.

because it's still them in church.

you're pretending.

just like me in finland desperately trying to learn finnish. i would practise sentences over and over again just so that i could go to the supermarket. even then i stuttered and was mis-understood more times than i care to mention.

yet the moment i sat down with my finnish friends and wanted to communicate something wonderful, the words "se on ihana" flowed easily and with the integrity of a finn.

for a brief moment our differences didn't matter, we were the same.

no longer chris the englishman with his finnish friends, but chris and his friends.

wouldn't it be incredible it if all the world saw was Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus

rather than...

chris going to church, dave going to church, hannah going to church etc.

suffering...

2009-03-22T19:34:00.002+02:00

In few discussions with some people the issues of God and suffering have crept up. It is a particuarly difficult subject to tackle, and in fact possible one of the most important for us each to try and get a handle on.

It can effect and affect all areas of our lives, in a maajority of cases these may be too insignificant for us to notice. However I believe they will have big reprecussions in our prayers, our practise of justice, mission and critically in our relationship with God as our Father.

What I wanted to do was address the main question of my recent discussion. So that perhaps a dialogue might be opened for values, principles and faith, to be stretched and examined. The main point was, Does God allow suffering for Christians or is it all the Enemies schemes?

Let that written below become my opening response.

(If you have a blog please join in, you could comment or perhaps write some thing on your own blog.)

I firmly believe that God does allow suffering, the Bible is full of men and women who though close to God experienced trials and difficulties. Job, Daniel's friends, Peter, Paul, David, Moses to name just a view. If we believe God to be all-powerful as well as all-good then at somepoint these situations must have be given the nod by God for them to take place and He did so. If he doesn't allow suffering then we must reconcile ourselves to the fact that Satan is more powerful than God, which is clearly a false thought. Evil cannot exist by itself or in the supremacy because it cannot be none as evil without us having first experienced good.
God uses the persecution of His church to spread His gospel (Acts 8:1,4), uses hardships to train us (1 Peter 4:19).
In fact in the greatest triumph of God's plan. Satan thinks he has tortured, mocked and killed the son of God. Yet God knows better, He has allowed the suffering and used it to declare His ultimate victory, redemption for mankind.

So what do you think? Should we suffer, does God allow it? Does He not?

poetry...

2009-03-22T19:16:00.006+02:00

I have been trying, for the last few weeks, to write some poetry. Not particuarly good poetry just stuff that helps me express myself.

The writing below is based on a few thoughts I've been mulling over lately about how even though we daily hear of, deal with or are confronted by tragedy we still somehow are surprised when the world produces bad and horrible things. The overwhelming evidence surely should causes us to expect these evils. Somehow though we expect more, we expect good. Why?

PS. It's an under construction piece, it's also my first foray into the world of verse ergo it might suck majorly so I apologise for the lack of meter in it's rhythm and other things that you might expect.

What is this feeling of something good,
This memory of something better.
Of what does my heart know,
That my mind cannot recall

My hopes are stronger than they should be,
My expectations greater than they would be
If this world was all they knew.

Eden's reach it seems, has never lessened
Perfection's edge has never dulled.
It's bright shdows shade my eyes
And by them,
Each new sadness
I meet with pained surprise.

There is One though in whom we may be restored
A life which broke this curse
A death that over-turned this exile

His body, broken.
His blood, poured out.
Humanities hearts, find their home again.

TO BE CONTINUED

Thanks for reading.

Shalom.

Prayer

2009-02-22T21:35:00.001+02:00

Recently I've been involved in a course on prayer. We were asked to write our thoughts on prayer either as prayers themselves or as liturgies. Below are my thoughts.

The prayer of petition

Father
These words are spoken from the darkness.
They are words asking, searching and crying out for salvation.
Words yearning for your love and provision.
They are the arms of a child reaching for His
Father.
These words are the expression of a heart lost, scared and confused.
They are given to you because only you can bring peace.
My words express my needs and desires.
Yet not my will but yours be done,
Father.

The prayer of being

Come Lord Jesus
as you walked with Adam, walk with me.
Come Lord Jesus
as you guided Abraham, guide me also.
Come Lord Jesus
as you spoke with Moses, speak with me.
Come Lord Jesus
as you taught your disciples, teach my heart.
Come Lord Jesus
as you ministered to Peter, minister to my soul.
Come Lord Jesus
as you stood before John in your glory, stand before me.
Come Lord Jesus.

The unanswered prayer.

I cry-out
He speaks not
I demand
He answers not
I weep
He comforts not
I am in darkness
He shines not
I am in pain
He heals not
I am lost
He appears not
Yet my God reigns
Yes, my God reigns
Over all, my God reigns

The Lord speaks

The almighty stoops down
He seeks my ear and my heart.
His eyes look with love, yet His words cut like a twice edged sword.
He comes in thunder and lightning, yet He gathers me safely in His arms.
Jehovah wishes me His representative.
He would have my hands be His hands.
Doubts and fears fall silent at the very sound of His voice.
The Lord beckons me further up and further in His presence.
He tabernacles within my flesh.
His Spirit directs my path.
His words do not fade or miss their mark.
The almighty stoops down.
He seeks my ear and my heart.

...and that life was the light of men

2009-01-03T20:50:00.002+02:00

Walking home this evening it struck me what the illustration of Jesus as the light of the world really means. To reach my house I have to walk along a country road for about 3/4 of a mile, there's no pavement at all so it's a case of jumping out of the way of traffic when it passes. During the dark winter evenings this can be a bit dangerous due to the fact that I'm basically wlaking along in pitch blackness.

Tonight there was however a clear sky and a bright crescent moon meaning that the way was clearer and easier to navigate. As I looked around me I realised that though the light that I did have was better than none, it still left the world around me stark, unfriendly and lacking any depth or beauty. It suddenly clicked in my heart that a life without Jesus is a lot like that road, it may be good enough but it's not all that it's meant to be.

The road I walk on is so much MORE when bathed in sunlight, rich greens sit next to fresh browns. The vast sky whether in sunrise, noon or sunset is more intriguing than inky blackness. The light changes everything, hedgerows aren't menacing with their thorny branches or structures intimidating in their angular shadows.

Light reveals the true beauty of things, a beauty which if more staggering than the mystical darkness.

Our lives bathed in the light of Christ are fuller, deeper and more beautiful than when considered in the darkness of sin and death. That seems so obvious I know, but so often we are content to walk around in semi darkness rather than standing in the light of Christ.

There are so many things that can be gathered from the analogy of Jesus as the light of men, but just for now consider this that things can only truly be seen in their complete form when covered in light. If you really want to see your life in it's greatest abundance then it will have to be seen in the greatest light of all, Jesus.

---------

Father I ask that you shine the light of Jesus throughout my life, show me everything. Dazzle me with the reality of my life. Show it to me in the clear light of day and not in the darkness that I so often live in. Amen

God is waiting...

2008-11-23T14:18:00.002+02:00

God is with you always. He never leaves, never pops to the shops for ten minutes. You'll never be without Him. He is always there. As I pray or worship or read my Bible I recognise God's presence in the room or place that I am. It's suddenly like my mind has focused on Him and like invisible ink He is revealed to be there, sat quietly, ready to talk.

Those moments are wonderful. Moments when heaven is on earth, the divine meets the earthly.

When talking with a friend recently he mentioned the idea of God waiting to talk to us.

It started me thinking, those moments in which I suddenly find God in the room with me, He's been there all the time. He's been sat there waiting for me to focus on Him. I can see him now, sat there maybe checking his nails or picking up pieces of fluff from His jeans, just waiting quietly. He has plenty to say to me, plenty of things He wants to inspire and challenge me with. Yet He is left there waiting for me to give Him five minutes on the bus or before sleeping.

How sad.

The supreme awesome creator of all things is left sat waiting to interact with me.

He wants to talk.

He wants to listen.

He wants to touch and change me.

But I just leave Him waiting.

Father God, let me recognise you more in each of life's moments. Let me never leave you waiting for me. May you be revealed always.

writer's block...

2008-11-13T15:27:00.003+02:00

So at the moment I seem to be struggling to write anything meaningful. In fact forget meaningful I seem to be having difficulty finding the ability to blog at all. It's so hard at the moment I get very few moments to write on my blog, and if I do have a moment it seems that my mind is empty.

So today I'm going to force myself to write something:

SURRENDER

give it all to God

not just the bad stuff or the hard stuff that causes you to worry

give it ALL

your hopes, desires, passions, fears, doubts, aspirations, victories and defeats

EVERYTHING

because He must be the centre of it all

He may give you somethings back, others you may never see again

but give it anyway

give it in love

with Him holding it all, life can really get started.

erm...i dont think i need to go to church (part 1)

2008-10-02T23:32:00.007+03:00

for the past few years a silent steady revolution has been taking place within the confines of my heart and mind. at the centre of this revolution there is a sentence, very simple in it's point and devastating in it's effect. many of us hear it,we might nod and smile along with it, perhaps letting it drift in through one ear and out the other.

however i think we under-estimate it. even if we don't, we perhaps fail to carry it through to completion. because if we did, things might get a little uncomfortable. a little unsafe and definitely a great deal more uncertain.

this sentence could end up making me a total freak in the eyes of some, a heretic in the eyes of others and a loser in the eyes of most. you see this sentence is very very unpopular. it's not a good slogan. it's real and when something is true that means that when some people bump into it then they might get hurt.

now im not saying you won't have heard this sentence before, i dearly hope you have, what i'm saying is that i don't think we've managed to think it all the way through. or at the most you've thought it through but not quite acted upon it. im not claiming i have, but simply giving those of you around me fair warning that i see less and less possibility of not doing so.

the sentence is this:

' We do not GO TO church, we ARE the church. '

surprised and disappointed, i hoped you might be.

new beginnings

2008-09-28T12:56:00.002+03:00

so i've been back in england for well over a month now and i would have to say i'm enjoying myself. that isn't to say there haven't been tough or hard times, it's just to say that the Lord has been good.

it's always hard to embrace change but it is also essential to do so.

i will be trying to write frequently, however that may not result in actual blogs.

Chocolate and flowers.

2008-08-20T14:30:00.002+03:00

So imagine a young couple, it's their anniversary and the boy has asked his Dad what to give the girl as an expression of his love. His father's response is quick and simple:

Chocolates and flowers!

The boy knocks on the door and as it opens to reveal the smiling face of his sweet-heart he pulls out from behind his back a large box of chocolates and a beautiful bunch of flowers.

Her smile grows larger and her eyes sparkle, she throws her arms around his neck, kissing him with more passionately than ever before. The boy blushes and somewhere inside a shout erupts:

YESSSSSSSS!!!!!

-----------------------------

Three years later the relationship is still intact, but it hangs by a thread. There are huge cracks in the intimacy and communication between the two of them. In fact the girl has invited her boy around for one last shot at rescuing their future. She's hoping she might be able to explain, listen and discuss changes that need to be made for growth to come.

The door bell rings, she goes to the door steeling herself for what she desperately hopes will not be the image that awaits her behind the door:

Please, not again, please, I want more.

She pulls the door open, she stares dumbfounded at his ignorance.

Everytime he has come to her door, since that first anniversary, everytime, he has stood their with a box of chocolates and a bunch of flowers. Never has their relationship gone further than a box of chocolates and a bunch of flowers. His expression of love is always the same thing.

And it is killing her. She knows there is more than this, that he has more than this in his love for her.

You see it works for him. He connects through it, so he never goes for more, or something different. He has got what he wants from it.

------------------------------

We've been singing songs to God for a long time. Telling him of our love in a way that we can connect with, that is simple for us, meaningful for us.

But what if God was like the girl in the story above, desperate for MORE, for something else. Because he knows we have more potential than songs.

What if you spent sometime thinking about how you could express your love to God without singing, what if you put the chocolates and flowers down and wrote a letter or made a meal as a message of love.

There is more. Try it.

------------------------

Ps. This is not an attack against worship music, music of any type but simply a provocation against our tendency to worship God in the same way over and over just because it worked before or we connected through it. So if you've only ever chanted worship, or sung psalms or danced, stop. try something different, there might be a different way to show God you love him.

This is for the Finns, a note from your Father God.

2008-08-14T15:34:00.002+03:00

you are not alone

you are not worthless

you can do it

He will not abandon you

you are loved

you have hope

you are special

you have purpose

He wants to speak with you

He can be your source of joy

He holds your heart tenderly and will never let go

you are His child

do not be ashamed

do not feel guilty

He has paid for you

you are loved

He wants to dwell with you

nothing can harm you so much that he will not love you

finland has a future, it is in God

He desires you

He wants to know you more

you don’t have to pretend it’s all ok

He loves you

you are not alone

no weapon formed against you will prosper

He is your strength

you are not in control

He loves you

you are not alone

may the people of this nation know how much you love and care for them. may they know your presence with them in all that they do.
may they know you.

“For God so loved you that he gave his only son…”

2008-08-14T15:28:00.003+03:00

Stop. Take a minute and think of love.

Seriously, close your eyes and think of love.

When I think of love, I can’t help but see faces of people passing in front of me, faces of those who I love and who love me. Family and friends, appear before my eyes.

I can’t think of love without seeing people, or without remembering their actions of love to me and mine to them.

Love isn’t something you can describe or show or even feel truly grasp without attaching it to people. It depends on people.

It is all about people and actions.

God loves you, means nothing on it’s own. Even the verse “God is love^¹” is empty unless it has a person and action that personifies it and gives it more than a reality of words.

This reality is Jesus, the love of God on earth.

Jesus, in the way he was given and in the way he lived, is love for you.

The love of God for you has been shown.

Once again, stop. Think of love.

Picture a man walking across a country to heal the sick and teach the humble.^²

See the same man nailed to a cross^³, disfigured by beatings.

See an empty tomb^⁴, with grave clothes folded neatly to one side.

Love for you was his motivation in all these things.

Think of Jesus.

If your faith is founded on your parent’s faith, it isn’t a real relationship.

If the Bible is your foundation, it isn’t a real relationship.

nothing but the love of God can maintain your relationship,

nothing but the love of God can sustain and support you.

Jesus is the centre and foundation of you with God.

Take time to put all else aside and rest in the love of God.

BE with Jesus.

BE with God’s love.

You see, there will be times when your passion for the Word wanes, where you feel like you can’t pray anymore or times when you can’t make it to meetings.

Love is the start of believing and following.

Take time to think where other things have replaced love in your relationship with God.

Confess them. Bring yourself before God, let love be the start.

1 1 John 4:16

2 Matthew 9:27-38

3 Mark 15:21-40

4 Luke 24:12

Narnia 1

2008-08-01T12:07:00.002+03:00

Around 3mins55 until 5mins it gets really good. They're talking about Aslan, but it's really all about God. Sometimes we imagine that because God's purposes and goodness never change that means that He will always do things the same way, or that we'll always be made happy by what He does.

The truth is that God very rarely works the same way twice and does things for our 'best' not to make us smile. Walking with Him can be a painful journey where our finite-ness meets His all surpassing mystery.

But as Mr Beaver so rightly says, "...course he isn't safe. But he is good."

And that's where our journey must start in trusting that this HUGE MIGHTY God, who is a consuming fire and the great Judge, is good. Then the wildness becomes an adventure into something more glorious than we can imagine.

You can keep your three steps to God, or pray this and God will give you this thing. The simple reality of God is that He might not be where we think He is and He certainly won't always give us the same thing He gave someone else.

But I think somewhere in each of our hearts, we know that an adventure into a loving God beats an organised life with 'administrator' God.

"I want to see Him. Even if I do feel frightened when it comes to the point."

Peter Pevensie
The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe.

A means to an end

2008-07-21T15:50:00.001+03:00

Listen to this episode

the purpose of our Christian lives is to love the Lord our God with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our mind. and to love our neighbours as ourselves. that is our end, our raison d’etre.

all else is just a means to that end. all else but that end is a mere distant second in terms of priority.

I feel like somewhere along the line we keep forgetting this fact. a new church becomes fashionable or even, in the case of house churches, a new style becomes cool and revolutionary. we find a good worship song or inspiring book and so we focus all our energy on that. a revival breaks out somewhere and we flock to it likes it’s the reason to follow Jesus. worse we sit and read our bibles constantly learning all we can about context or memorising huge passages of scripture, but it never makes it into the loving God or loving others phase.

we need to take a step back and refocus ourselves, it’s not ‘what you know’ or ‘where you go’ or ‘how you go’ that counts, it’s who you know and who you love.

im not being offensive for the sake of it, im being blunt because we need a wake up call. all that we do on this earth is a means to an end. I think we forgot that, so we end up making all these means of loving God and others our end.

stop pushing your programme, stop mocking others who do things differently and especially don’t call them unbiblical because they meet in a huge hall with thousands in the congregation. don’t abuse people because they’re meeting in houses in sixes and sevens.

get over yourselves.

God can be loved in all sorts of ways. People need love in such different manners of communicating it.

and most of all don’t make that which is a means your end. if you spot anything in your life that is replacing loving God and others as your end, then run from it, repent of it and get back to loving God. you might still be able to do the old thing, but it is essential that God is the only end you have in sight.

an explanation

2008-07-21T15:40:00.003+03:00

the blog entitled 'how it is' is an explanation of how i feel currently.

CHURCH is something i've been running from for a long time. recently i realised why that is, truthfully it's because if i was in CHURCH i would love it. im a great CHURCH christian, im extrovert loud and opionated. i enjoy meetings, events and preaching. more i like large numbers of people and feeling busy.

in CHURCH i would get carried away. it would become all that i was devoted to, not God but CHURCH. that is why im so desperate for a new thing a new way of doing things. because all of those things written below that i have said i don't want are things that would distract me from Jesus.

so please don't feel attacked or provoked, please don't even appreciate it if you have an alternative reason. i don't hate big churches or churches with programmes or churches with tv programmes or worship albums.

i hate putting something else above God in my heart.

ps. im using the term CHURCH to describe something which we christians do, something that becomes more important than Jesus.

...how it is

2008-07-17T20:34:00.002+03:00

I have discovered that I don't need CHURCH. I need Jesus and people who are desperate in their love for both He and I. I don't want songs but worship. Not preaching but learning. Not words but action. Not tithing but giving. Not man focussed but God centered. Not evangelism but relationship. Not meetings but life. Not religion but faith.

Not CHURCH but KINGDOM!

...filled with joy

2008-06-14T21:37:00.002+03:00

im at a conference this weekend, and this morning the guy teaching mentioned that one of the fruits of the spirit is joy. the holy spirit can bring us joy but also he can prompt it in us on behalf of others around us.

this evening i was utterly blessed to find out that one of my friends has just got engaged!!!!!!!! i have known this guy for a long time, through tough times and good times ever since we were just little kids starting secondary school. despite the distance between us and the time that has lapsed since we last spoke i find myself overflowing with joy for him and his wife to be.

the joy of the holy spirit is what i am feeling, it is coming from the heart of God, and i reckon it's one of the best feelings ever. just wanted to share the joy, because the spirit of God is just as overjoyed when good things happen in yours and my own life and it is good and right to search for that joy and be carried by it. it's the fruit of the price Jesus paid for you.

so get, joyful people! whether it be for someone else or yourself, about something big or small. God wants you to be blessed by it, being sensible, ordered and sad isn't a description of life to the full.

thanks for letting me share my own and the spirit's joy with you.

...open up your eyes

2008-06-11T15:51:00.000+03:00

Yesterday a friend and I spent two and a half hours or so praying around Helsinki’s downtown area. We wanted to be able to pray in various areas where young people usually hang out, our desire to pray for these young people and for God to meet with them in those areas. Also we wanted to declare God as Lord in these places where perhaps spiritually not good things happen. We decided to visit a big modern shopping centre, an open all night Macdonald’s, the main cinema and a monument to the Finnish composer Sibelius. These places are important in terms of what they symbolise; consumerism, materialism, entertainment, music and friendship. Earlier in the day I’d read this from another blog “I am a great believer in prayer walking, the visual stimuli inspires your prayers.” So I set out with the hope of making sure that I kept my eyes open so that my prayers would not ‘spiritual’ but ‘actual’, not dismissing the things of the spirit but more proclaiming them in to reality. This means seeing things such as gothic and bondage shops and praying for a change in spiritual atmosphere, praying that as people looked for Anime and Manga books that they wouldn’t be able to see them on the shelves.

I just want to encourage you to do it, you don’t have to take two hours maybe just as you walk, ride or drive around your local area talking to God about what you see, talk to Him about heaven coming to earth. If possible be an answer to your prayers and do something about the graffiti or the drunks. After two hours both of us we feeling so connected to God, we’d been led to pray so many things, we’d read scripture out, shouted the name of Jesus in front of tourists. We’d loved it.

That might seem strange and I’ll admit that at points maybe it was, but what wasn’t strange is that as we prayed we both felt the heart that God has for this city and it’s inhabitants. It was so amazing and encouraging to hear the Holy Spirit’s voice as he called us to pray for freedom, creativity and inspiration.

It was awesome to talk to God. It was awesome to keep our eyes open and pray about what we saw.

struggling...

2008-06-08T20:55:00.002+03:00

hey folks, i know that usually i mumble along about something trying to sound like it's insightful or wise. but today i just wondered if maybe you could spend a minute and just pray for me. i'm finding it real difficult at the moment to be here, to feel the way i do. i would really appreciate just a couple of people holding me up in their prayers, this year has been a constant challenge, right now i feel a bit like im drowning. im flapping and flailing and that i think could be in danger of hurting people close to me.

we've just hit the start of the finnish summer holidays and well it's just been a bit hard staying all bright and sunny. so if you could just pray that i would feel God's presence alongside me, as well as that i would control my mouth, recently it's been saying stuff i don't want to say, stuff i don't feel.

thanks

..c-c-c-changes...

2008-05-29T14:09:00.003+03:00

For a while now I've been trying to find new ways to blog, I'm working on the v-log side of things but last night I downloaded some programmes that mean I can podcast. So hopefully in the future I will be able tell you what's been going on not just type it. If you have a good internet connection it shouldn't be too hard to listen to my actual vocal ramblings.

Enjoy.

ps. there's only a random test file there at the moment, but I will update it shortly.

God's got style...

2008-05-27T14:34:00.006+03:00

Around 1100 years before Jesus died on the cross King David wrote Psalm 22, when you read it a few things jump out at you that prove that God's got style...

verse 1- My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? matthew 27:46, mark 15:34
verse 2- I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent. matthew 26, mark 14, luke 22
verse 6- scorned by men and despised by the people isaiah 53
verse 7,8- All who see me mock me; they hurl insults, shaking their heads: "He trusts in the LORD; let the LORD rescue him. Let him deliver him, since he delights in him."
matthew 27:43
verse 14- I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint... john 19:34
verse 15- my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth... john 19:28
verse 16- a band of evil men has encircled me, they have pierced my hands and my feet. john 20:25-28
verse 17- I can count all my bones... john 19:33
verse 18- They divide my garments among them and cast lots for my clothing. matthew 27:35, mark 15:24, luke 23:34, john 19:24
verse 22- I will declare your name to my brothers; in the congregation I will praise you. hebrews 2:10.12
verse 26- The poor will eat and be satisfied; they who seek the LORD will praise him... john 6:35
verse 27- All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the LORD, and all the families of the nations will bow down before him... philippians 2:10
verse 31- They will proclaim his righteousness to a people yet unborn—for he has done it. john 19:30, matthew 28: 18-20, acts 1:7-8

pretty slick work!!!

ps. if you want to check out the references www.biblegateway.com, I used the niv translation

Faster Better Stronger

2008-05-26T16:15:00.002+03:00

I was having a chat with someone a few weeks ago about how babies learn things, quite a lot of their learning processes are based on copying the examples of those around them. Therefore in most cases children will end up replicating their parents ways of going about their life, they see a parent eat in a particular way and then copy it without really recognising that they are doing so. It becomes habit, and as such is just the normal way of doing things.

This 'habit' process means "I do it like this because this is how I have obtained results before". So a baby learns to go to the toilet by repeating the actions that got the best result last time.

A great deal of us never really get out of these habits, we spend a lot of our lives just doing the same old thing because it got good results.

The problem is that if we rely on copying others or repetative habits we very rarely get to experience any more of life than the person we copy or the same old result. The great thing about following Jesus is the fact that there is always more to find out, more to experience and more to be challenged by.

The 'abundant life' promised by Jesus calls for us to reach for faster, better and stronger than before. It asks us to daily raise our desire for more of the Kingdom on Earth. If we spend our time watching others or repeating habits, perhaps even waiting for someone else to go further so that we can, we will miss out on the greatest part of our journey, seeing something new.

the end is just starting...

2008-05-23T12:58:00.003+03:00

i think yesterday i had my last ever lesson in finland...i'm a bit sad. sure there has been bad, hard and difficult lessons but there have also been amazing times. i know that being in front of a class was something that God made me for, it's such a joy to tell a group of people something that they have never heard before something that will help them grow and learn.

and at least for now i think it's over.... :(

cool stuff...

2008-05-19T15:02:00.002+03:00

Just as one person did it wrong and got us in all this trouble with sin and death, another person did it right and got us out of it. But more than just getting us out of trouble, he got us into life!
(The Message: Romans 5)

Our God takes a like time to do something suddenly.

(Stephen Mooney)

It is never a failure to have to pray twice.

(Henk Vink)

But he is simply one great, inexhaustible and eternal experience of all that is good and true and beautiful and right. This is what we must think of when we hear theologians and philosophers speak of him as a perfect being...

(The Divine Conspiracy)

Fix your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of this world, will grow strangely dim
In the light of his glory and grace

(HYMN)

The key [to the christian life] is not the boundaries, but the centre.

(Andy Freeman)

what is normal?

2008-05-13T19:14:00.000+03:00

in the last two days something very interesting has occurred that might have changed the way i think for the rest of my life. as a result of conversations with some very cool people i have realised that i am not normal, and before you smirk and think well that's obvious look at your face, i don't think you're normal either (this is just about your face either).

romans 3:23 says all have fallen short of the glory of God. the all is not including Jesus, which the other verses around it make clear. so as i got to thinking about the fact that i have failed/am failing/will be failing in terms of God's plans for life to it's fullest i realised that i'm broken. something like a toy with a fault that needs to go back to the maker and be repaired, the fact that Jesus lived life to it's fullest means that he wasn't broken, he didn't fail. this isn't meant to be saying how terrible i am and the rest of you are, it's me recognising that Jesus was normal.

our walk of following Jesus, being taught by him, led by the Holy Spirit and healed by the Father is simply our journey back to normal.

somehow that changes my thinking about the rest of the christians i see around me. i used to see the good ones and the bad ones, the ones with leadership skills the ones who could pray for hours. to me now it seems much more like a broken toy army that needs God's repair so that they can return to normal life.

Jesus presented the normal life we were meant to have, he had leadership skills, prayer power, performed miracles, cast out demons, walked on water, spoke to God as Abba, discipled people, evangelised, baptised, raised people from the dead, cured diseases, taught people, threw tables over, died on a cross. these things aren't the mark of the best of christians they are the marks of normality in this broken world. you, me, billy graham, jim elliot, jackie pullinger, mother theresa, brian houston, jay john all of us have the chance to follow Jesus to this normal.

don't limit yourself, you can be normal too.

summer begins in finland...

2008-05-09T15:53:00.000+03:00

above.finland goes green.

more pictures will arrive as the summers beginning continues...

a loving God...

2008-05-06T15:14:00.000+03:00

here's two situations, pick which one you think is the most loving one:

1) you become a parent, you're part of a stable loving marriage which has become a family overnight. now you have a beautiful young son, cute and cuddly in all the right places. as the time goes on he starts to grow up you decide that the best way to love your son is to keep treating like a baby. you decide not to teach him anything, so he's 5 and your still feeding him directly perhaps even still via a bottle. he's 7 and still can't speak or communicate other than by crying or gurgling. you choose that the most loving thing is not to let other people see him, because well you love him the most so chances are that a lot of the time other relationships will just leaving him hurting. you feel that he shouldn't have to do anything he doesn't want, so you decide not to put him through schooling because it leaves him bored and upset. all in all you raise a son who can't do anything for himself, who is aged 18 and has the same development level as a newborn.

2) you become a parent, you're part of a stable loving marriage which has become a family overnight. now you have a beautiful young son, cute and cuddly in all the right places.as the time goes on you decide to introduce him to a whole range of development opportunities. potting training, other babies, toys and new foods are all given their chance in helping your baby grow. the most loving thing you feel is to present him with challenges that will encourage him in his pursuit of life, at first he makes mistakes, perhaps finds the challenges difficult and upsetting, but he begins to master these new ways of life. in fact as he gets older he takes charge of his own development and growth, he begins to engage with other people, to love them as you loved him. he encourages them to grow and to make the most of their talents and skills. sure sometimes it hurts, but your example has taught him that it's better to keep going, keep learning to have a life to the full. eventually he gets married and finds himself now with his own son in his arms.

My God is a loving God. He doesn't give me everything I want. He puts challenges in my way, I face difficult circumstances because of his love. But I wouldn't have it any other way, I don't want to be left with a lot of potential and no result just because it sometimes takes hardship to get a bit of enjoyment.

Thank you God that you love us so much, and that you want us to have life to the full. Thank you that you don't just give us the easy path which leaves us sat in nappies, but you challenge us so that we might live better, and love more.

Amen

weaving...

2008-05-02T14:01:00.000+03:00

Eva and I were just catching up after her week away in Holland at Soul Survivor. It was really good to share stories of what God has been doing with us. So in response we began to pray, the Lord gave me a picture that I would love to just share with you.

It was of some thread being weaved in between other pieces of thread. It had to go up and down, over and under, sll sorts of different ways so that it could be part of the overall picture. I could see that the thread I was watching was my life, that the Lord takes on a journey. He makes me go in many different ways, sometimes it's difficult, sometimes I overlap with others, eventually though I will get to where he wants me to be.

What I felt was the Lord showing me that we are all pieces of thread, being weaved in ways perhaps that we might not understand. It's cool because we get to travel with others sometimes, but most of the time we don't have any clue of what is happening with most of the other threads. The Lord showed me that he does. He knows what the big picture is, he knows why I have to go in many different ways and shapes. He isn't just thinking of my thread, he knows my journey in relation to yours and others, he knows when it needs to touch another thread. Because he knows what the final picture looks like. We might question why this thread stops there, or why that touches that one.

The point is that God is weaving his Kingdom across this world, he will create the final picture. All we have to do is be obedient thread and go where he would take us. In the end even though on the small scale you might not understand, the big picture of God's Kingdom on earth will be the most beautiful tapestry ever woven.

Lord of the Rings...

2008-04-22T13:59:00.000+03:00

Firstly, I must admit that this weekend I spent far too much time this weekend staring at my tv screen watching all three extended editions of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Perhaps even more damningly was the square eyes time in front of, not all, but still a great deal of the 15 hour long appendices documentary footage also included.

Wasted time maybe, but hopefully the rest of this blog will give me some feeling of having gained something from the whole experience.

The documentaries give you an in depth view of what it took to produce the 10 hours of film. You get to see the whole process from start to finish, the amazing part of that being the sheer length of time spent on the project. Three and a half years of filming, six years of production, nine years of scripting which all adds up to a lot of people putting a massive amount of effort into their work. The footage shows you the people behind all that work, with an awesome insight into their relationships with and commitment to each other. We get a chance to see this team of hundreds become friends and "relationally" a family. Which is really nice, you know they made a great set of films and they got some cool new friends, must have been fun.

Two stories though were really interesting, one was this short aside about Viggo Mortensen the actor playing Aragorn. The filming having ended horses that were used were having to be sold, the company offered them firstly to those whom had spent the last 2 or 3 years working with them. One lady had a real desire to by the horse with which she had constantly been using, but horses being quite expensive she just couldn't afford it's price. So it turns out that Viggo who had been alongside this lady went a bought it, then gave to her as a gift. Just because he knew he could help, knew her desire for it and cared about her.

The second story was about Peter Jackson, the film's producer, script writer and director. After nine years spent developing on the films it came to the moment of the last shot of the films lead actor Elijah Wood. The documentary showed you this moment, the problem was that Peter Jackson couldn't call the shot. Over and over again he called for another go, another take. He couldn't end the thing. Eventually after lots of re-takes, he called the shot finished got up walked over to Elijah Wood, they both embraced each other with tears running down their cheeks.

They aren't incredible stories, nothing too complicated. In fact it's their simplicity that I love.

These stories are just examples of the love that I saw amongst these people. They were a group of people, dedicated to a purpose, devoted to helping each other achieve that process. They gave to each other as they had need, ate together and immersed themselves in Tolkien's work.

The family that was created, it's relationships thrilled me.

If a bunch of people who gave nine years of their lives to making a book a film can see this kind of community and impact, just think what a bunch of people dedicating themselves to Jesus' life changing message could do!?!

Ecclesiastes...

2008-04-15T13:15:00.000+03:00

I've never liked Ecclesiastes.
I've always found it difficult to deal with the fact that "everything is meaningless".
A time to weep. Lovely.

I think I've been missing out.
The book is a razor, it cuts right through religion and doing stuff.
Life is pointless.
Unless you look to God.
If you don't know the awesome God, you might as well just die now.
That's not a pretty message, it won't make it into a family service, but it's true.

Knowing God makes life, whatever life looks like, worth something.
Religion gives you a lot of stuff around God, but it can miss out on HIM.
Without HIM "everything is meaningless".
So I'm going to spend my time getting to know God...

We are found
In You
And this makes all the difference
This changes everything
Making our whole existence
Worth something

David Crowder Band*

failure...

2008-04-09T16:38:00.000+03:00

"reach out to me
make my heart brand new
every beat will be for you"

there are times when we just fail.
there are even more times when we fail and it's a repeat of the same old failing.
1 john says if we are alive in God we won't make a practice of failure.
the difference between a practice of failure and failing at the same thing over and over
is that a practice of failure doesn't include repentance.
if or perhaps when we fail
let's stop, seek forgiveness
and ask for our hearts to be made new by God.

God won't compromise on our failures, but he has paid for them.

Love. Accept. Go to work.

2008-04-07T15:11:00.000+03:00

It's been just over a week since I was in England for YOUCAN! 2008, it was an amazing time for everyone. The folks behind it had worked hard to bring everyone together and for the atmosphere of family and relationship to touch everyone. Thanks guys you were awesome. It was wonderful to see the Lord work in such an intimate and local setting. We are so used to having to trek miles to hear the right speaker or best worship band that sometimes I think we forget that it's God's job to do the work. Over the course of the weekend he really did things deep in people's lives, hopefully soon I'll be able to put up some testimonies of the lives God changed.

The weekend for me was a real blessing up until a week before I hadn't been going, however the Master provides for us and the money came in. It was amazing to find out that the desires of my heart are becoming the desires of his own. Throughout all the teaching there was a consistent theme that touched my spirit, that of holiness, obedience and humility. Particularly on the Saturday I was challenged on the order of these things.

God loves me. God accepts me. Then he goes to work on my sin.

It can be very easy to become afraid of issues like holiness if we aren't truly aware of the manner in which God approaches it. He died for us whilst we were still sinners (Romans 5:8), then he accepts us (John 1:12) and then he reaches out to make us holy (2 Corinthians 3:18).

I know now that God doesn't point at all my sin and tell me to deal with that and then embrace him. What he wants is to be able to clean me of my sin whilst we embrace. That is the God of love.

He doesn't compromise, and he doesn't stop loving.

Happy Days!

2008-03-03T16:19:00.000+02:00

So it's a mundane monday, one of those days that isn't particuarly bad or good. It just sort of carries on and is a little bit forgetful. Today is mundane because the last ten days have been totally awesome. Full to the brim with happiness and fun. For the last ten days my girlfriend Hannah has been here from England visiting me.

It had long been anticipated and it didn't disappoint at all. It was so ace just to be able to chat as much as we wanted, without time pressures. To be able to show her the people I work with and the places that I visit. It gave her some idea of what I do and what it is like for me here. I am so grateful that we were in the position to be able to have her come out, we knew that I would be leaving England for a year when we began going out. However knowing that, hasn't stopped it being really hard emotionally for us to be apart from each other. So her being in my flat every day was just incredible. We cooked together, went to Tallinn, window shopped, visited the cinema, chatted until the early hours, caught lots of buses, went out for meals and popped into schools.

I am so grateful that God has given me such a wonderful woman to have this relationship with.

Thanks Hannah for being so great.

he is there...

2008-02-12T17:41:00.001+02:00

He is there, wherever you go, he is there.

If you fly up, he is there. Dig down, and he is there.

In all and through all. Go until west becomes east, he is there.

Hide in the darkest place and he is there.

Stand proudly in the light, he is there.

Nothing was made that was not made by him.

At the start, he was there and in the end he’ll be there.

Before your dreams and long after your fears, he is there.

When loneliness grips you or as joy thrills you, he is there.

If you are despised by men, he is there.

As crowds adore you, he is there.

In the sky stretched purple, he is there.

As lightning erupts, he is there.

Lyrical inspiration!

2008-02-11T15:01:00.000+02:00

About a month ago I was travelling back, with Eva Sarsa her husband Erkki and my friend Ella, from the 24/7 Nordic gathering. The weekend being such an awesome time in God's prescence I was totally tired, and had turned my mp3 player up loud trying to chill out. We stopped at a service station, used the toilets and then headed back out on the road. Somewhere between stopping and staring again my mp3 disappeared.
A month later and it hasn't turned up, I have realised how important it is to me that I can listen to music everyday. It's not just loud guitars and drum fills, it's the lyrics that stir me to worship my God. Words that match my feelings are found in countless songs, I just wanted to show you some. I pray that the songs might help you worship our God, and enable you to express your hurts, pains and joys. Be blessed.

Jesus, please forgive me of my crimes
Sanctify this withered heart of mine
Stay with me until my life is through
And on that day please take me home with you

Relient K: Deathbed

We don't know what we're doing
We do it again
We're just amateur lovers
With amateur friends

Switchfoot: Amateur Lovers

'cos i got nothing of my own to give to you
but this light that shines on me shines on you
and makes everything beautiful, again.

David Crowder Band*: Stars

I'm drowning, but I don't care,
Because when you got what I got, what I got, what I got
Who needs air?

The Classic Crime: Who needs air?

I'm getting into you
Because I've got to be
You're essential to survive
I'm going to love you with my life

Relient K: Getting into you

At the start
He was there
He was there
In the end
He’ll be there
He’ll be there
And after all
Our hands have wrought
He forgives

David Crowder Band*: The glory of it all

This is what makes my head spin
You're forever Holy
God of all creation
Pour Your life into me

The Glorious Unseen: Forever Holy

Because I love you
Oh God, I love you
And life is now worth living
If only because of you
And when they say that I'm dead and gone
It won't be further from the truth

Relient K: When I go down

In the economy of mercy
I am a poor and begging man
In the currency of Grace
Is where my song begins

Switchfoot: Economy of Mercy

Adverts+Ninth Graders=Fun

2008-02-06T12:13:00.000+02:00

This morning I had a really cool chance to take a lesson by myself at Jakomäki Junior High. It was based on media advertising and basically I showed the class some of my favourite adverts from English televsion and then they had to describe them in English.

The class I had are usually quite difficult and don't laugh or enjoy themselves very much. Today though was a total hit, it was cool to see them laughing at the adverts and then being enthusiastic about writing in english. Felt like a bit of a connection was established.

So I thought perhaps watching a few of them might brighten up your day, here's a link to some of the ones I showed. Have fun, it's important that you realise that I am not being paid to advertise the products, but I am advertising smiling!

The battle is the Lord's...

2008-02-05T15:46:00.000+02:00

“Don’t be afraid!” Elisha told him. “For there are more on our side than on theirs!” Then Elisha prayed, “O Lord, open his eyes and let him see!” The Lord opened the young man’s eyes, and when he looked up, he saw that the hillside around Elisha was filled with horses and chariots of fire.As the Aramean army advanced toward him, Elisha prayed, “O Lord, please make them blind.” So the Lord struck them with blindness as Elisha had asked.
2 Kings 6 (NLT)

Wow. What a totally awesome act of God.
Sometimes in the recent past I have felt the need to try and fight. To work hard, to put my head down and fight. The Lord though has different ideas, you see it's never going to be us that wins the fight. It's never going to be our own victory.

We are not alone, we don't need to fight. We need only to stand, confident that the Lord is with us. Safe in the knowledge that "...there are more on our side than on theirs!"

"All those gathered will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD's!"
1 Samuel 17:47 (NIV)

Shortcomings...

2008-01-23T12:24:00.000+02:00

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
James 5

Hey everybody, I hope that your doing well and that life is going Jesus' way with you. Helsinki looks quite nice at the moment with a thin layer of snow having fallen yesterday and being re-covered every couple of hours by a fresh fall. The people here tell you that the whole world looks so much brighter when there is snow, and it wasn't until yesterday when I walked out and had to shield my eyes for a moment that I truly believed them.

It's amazing to see how the snow covers everything, and looks so clean and pure wherever it lies. The Bible says that Jesus' death and resurrection has enabled to have our sins made as white as snow.Which only truly hits home when you get to see how much snow can cover whilst still staying totally clean.

So I thought I might take the chance to confess somethings that have been going on so that my sins can be again made as white as snow.

I have found it very difficult recently to consider others, or to be able to join in with other people whilst they are together. I have found myself seeking isolation and separation. Searching to be cut off from the world and other people. Focusing only upon myself and what I want, what I need and how I feel. This is wrong, and please forgive me of it Lord. I recognise that you are a God of relationship and communication, a God who calls for the first to become last and the teachers to become servants. Help me seek you Lord as the first in my life, and let me love others especially those close to me before loving myself.

Also I have found it very hard to not second guess people. To try and anticipate what they are thinking, or what they really mean when they speak to me. Lord help me trust, help me put my faith in you. Let my mind work for the good of my relationships and not in a defensive and suspicious way.

Thank you for allowing me to do this.

"Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."

a few pics for the new layout

2008-01-02T19:10:00.001+02:00

It's been a while...

2008-01-02T13:51:00.000+02:00

Hello everyone, Happy New Year and all that jazz! I hope that you managed to stay up stupidly late and then have a huge lie in a couple of days ago to celebrate the New Year. I was in Tampere with a few friends lighting fireworks, watching films and playing old school Namco games like Ms. Pacman. It was a quality evening that lasted until about 4 in the morning. The only downside being a massive crashing of my mobile phone as I was unable to send or receive texts for the first three hours of 2008, a difficult situation when your girlfriend is in the middle of Germany with no credit herself. But I survived and so far 2008 has been quite good, and long may it continue to be so. I have a feeling that again this year God is going to do mighty things not only across the world, but in the lives of individuals who are longing to serve and seek him with all that they are.

And take my life, let it be everything, all of me
Here I am, use me for Your glory
In everything I say and do, let my life honor You
Here I am living for Your glory

The road I’m on that leads nowhere without You
And the life I live that finds meaning and surrender
In view of God’s mercy, I offer my all

Seeking first the Kingdom

Seeking first the Kingdom of my Lord (Tim Hughes)

It has been a while since I last wrote something here, the time in between posts has been one of serious testing and questioning. I have felt at some points that I am in the lowest possible place, God has stayed the same throughout but I have changed as a response to what He has been doing in my life. I realise now that when I asked God to use me or to take all of me he took me seriously and started doing it. That means that sometimes I might not enjoy what He is calling me to do, it might even hurt or be painful. The point though is HIM not ME, it has never been ME and never will be ME. Everything is about HIM, I want it that way.

So be careful what you ask of God, take seriously the promises that you make to Him, because He's listening...

Mini-victory!

2007-11-27T11:10:00.000+02:00

So last night after a long day at work I was coming home from my friends house. I was stood at the bus stop listening to my mp3 player and trying to send a message to someone in Finnish. Obviously this was proceeding quite slowly and I was having to keep referring to my text books. There was a teenage girl stood at the bus stop and I was trying not to scare her as I rocked out to Anberlin(a band for those who don't know).
Well any way I was getting quite confused with my message a fact that my face was most probably broadcasting when the girl tapped me on the shoulder. I took out my headphones, readying myself to tell her "Mä ei puhu suomea"...which is meant to mean I don't talk Finnish.
However she said, " I'm sorry but are you the English guy who has moved to Jakomaki?"
Well I have got to be honest that's not quite what I was expecting. After a moment or two of stunned silence, I managed to say yes I was and we proceeded to have a good conversation for the next twenty minutes or so whilst we waited and then on the bus. It turns out we took a lesson of hers last year and she says seen mean over the past couple of months and really wanted to ask if it was me.
I was so blessed, it's awesome that you can take one lesson for 45 minutes and then 13 months later someone still recognises you. Awesome...the news is spreading that I am here and that it's for God's purposes...Ace!

Jesus 1 - Satan 0

amongst us

2007-11-21T11:55:00.000+02:00

In Genesis we read that God partnered with humanity, he sought them out in the cool of the day to connect with them. He walked amongst his creation and sought to relate to it's pinnacle, that is you and I, humanity.

Something went wrong, we left that place of connection to seek after our own ways. We have left God, and continue to seek our own will.

Our God though is gracious and compassionate and has made for a way for us to return to him. We can return to walking and working with him, Jesus as our master leads us back to the beauty of those moments. I believe that today we have the chance to see God walk amongst us, to partner with him.

I have been praying that God would walk alongside me in my life, that I and others would recognise his presence with me. That they might meet him, that they might know his love for them.

Jesus walk amongst us, let us see you daily walking with us. Restore to us the life that we lost, restore us to yourself.

Where the Lord is, there is where I wanna be!

2007-11-16T12:23:00.001+02:00

Hey folks sorry that I haven't been around for a bit. It's been mega random in my life since I was last able to blog

I was able to visit England, and spend a week among friends and family. My main reason for going back after being here for such a short time was the dedication of my nephew Korsten Timothy Joseph Lewis. It was truly a blessing to see another member of my family be given to God. All our lives have been give back to the Father and that is a heritage that can't be beat.

However I would be lying if I said that was my only reason. It was great to be able to get together with those who have been closest to me in the last few years. Especially I have been blessed with friends who I can call my family. Those sisters and brothers know that I love them and it was great to have a chance to chat with them. It is amazing that God's family really can be seen in simple relationships, when we God made us in His image we were built to share things with those around us. I encourage you to see these God given relationships in your life, also to devote yourselves to these people. It will give you a clearer picture of God's reality in your every moment with them.

This though means that leaving them is a very difficult process. It requires knowledge that God has a plan for us, and that relationship isn't destroyed by distance. In the five days since returning to Helsinki and the beautiful snow, I have found that my heart is pained with the separation.

Yet day by day I am being reminded that God has called me to be here. This is the place where God's will has me, it is the perfect place for me right now. An awareness of this means that feelings aren't the end of the story. Joseph in prison, Jonah in the fish and Jesus on the cross all were in situations that hurt them, and that they struggled with. Yet it was the best place for them, the place where most could be gained for them and those around them.

The Lord wants me here, and as such He has gone been before me. His presence rests in this place to work good. That is the place I want to be, anywhere else would be harmful.

Where the Lord is, there is where I wanna be!

I pray that you would know where God wants you, and that you would be able to follow that call. May you know that you are living the will of the Almighty.

Glimpses of Glory!

2007-10-30T10:53:00.000+02:00

We need to see beauty and shout about it!

During the past weekend God has done great things, whether you have heard about GearUp! '07 for yourself or not I just want to share a few things so that you would know that God is showing His beauty.

On Sunday morning, after being together since Friday evening we gathered to sit and share stroies of what God had been doing in our lives. I want to share one or two of those stories, so you too can give praise to God for His love and truth and so that you might also be encouraged that God can and wants to work in your life.

The first person to share was a girl who was attending her first GearUp! She told us how God had always been present in life but through family issues had become distant. In fact so much so that He was more like a scolding parent rather than her loving father. She felt rejected and ashamed, and sought acceptance elsewhere with other relationships. She told us how she had hated Christians for the way they treated her, and their hypocrisy. However, during the weekend God had really shown Himself in his true likeness too her. She had felt His acceptance and love through how we treated her, and had been prayed for regarding many different aspects of her life. She said the simple fact that four people would take their time and use it to pray for her was awesome. She had truly seen the beauty of God in that place. Hallelujah!

As we continued sharing a guy stood up. He began by explaining how before the conference he had no desire to come, that it had been by God's prompting only that he had forced himself to come. He had felt that he had nothing left, no hope except Jesus and only the strength to grasp the folds of Jesus cloak. But that weekend the touch of Jesus' cloak had been enough. The met with God and God had started things in Him, healed things in Him and changed things in Him. Amen!

The most impacting testimony for myself, came from a girl who stood up confidently in front of us and gave glory to God for changing her hole life. We sat and listened as she explained how her social life with friends had included visiting a lot of bars and a lots of parties. Bars and parties where relationships came and went, and where much went on that was not good before God. These times she said where split up with church youth events and services with the same people who she saw at these parties. However since going to the English conference YOUCAN! in April she has not visited one of these bars or parties. Awesome. That God has made her walk with him a reality, a truth that has no falseness in it! Glory....and that the GearUp! weekend had taken her even deeper and further into want God wants for her. fair play!

You see our God is mighty, He is wonderful and He is real. Praise Him for He is worthy!

Be blessed and know that the Father loves you!

The Language Basics!

2007-10-17T23:03:00.000+03:00

There are many different aspects to living in a foreign country, in my case one of the more major is the language. I have a very small amount of Finnish at my disposal, and I am attending a course twice a week to try and learn more.
Strangely however one of the hardest parts of the language difference for me is not being able to understand the people around you in public situations. For example not being able to listen to people talking in shops, or being able to communicate with people at bus stops when you need information. A feeling of loneliness can surround you. I was working yesterday as I was litter picking countless people had said things to me as they walked past, and of course I couldn't communicate. I was starting to find it very hard to smile as I worked. Yet soon someone came up to me and communicated in a language that we all understand.
A girl of about eight was walking past with a friend, as she passed me her hands went to her pocket and she pulled out some sweets. She came over and smiled at me holding out the sweets, I looked down at her and said "Hello!" She motioned with the sweets and so I put my hand out. She poured some into my hand, smiled up at me and then walked off.

This is the language of heaven.

It speaks grace and love to all who hear it. It touches whatever part of you that needs caring for. You can hear it in many different ways, and in many different places. But you always understand it.
This I am learning is the language of God, and I need to be fluent in it. I need to express myself through it daily. It is a language which points directly to God, and is a sign of his presence in our world.
I urge you to practise it, give others a chance to hear it in their lives.

It changed my day, it can change our world.

And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit was giving them utterance.

Now there were Jews living in Jerusalem,devout men from every nation under heaven.

And when this sound occurred, the crowd came together, and were bewildered because each one of them was hearing them speak in his own language.

Acts 2:4-6

it's all me, me, me, me, me!

2007-10-10T14:51:00.001+03:00

Hey folks I have realised that I have been giving you quite a lot of information about me and my prayer requests. So I thought perhaps I could give you some people in Helsinki to pray for.

Obviously I can't put the descriptions or requests here, so I was thinking that if you want to pray then perhaps you can email me at gooney_rockon@hotmail.com and I could send you the the prayer requests. I really want to honour and bless the folks I am working with, so the descriptions aren't to personal and obviously without pictures. But I think it would be great for some people here to know that someone on the otherside of Europe is praying for them.

I hope you are seeing God in your life, and that you are helping to reveal Him to others.

day by day...

2007-10-05T18:22:00.000+03:00

Monday morning never seems to be a great time of the week. The Monday that began this week seemed destined to live up to it's predecessors. I woke up 6:30am and with a morning of litter picking and leaf sweeping ahead of me, in fact I was overjoyed to find out that the heavens had also opened in quite a substantial way. You can imagine how excited I was, the opportunity to serve God in the rain for three hours with shoes that leak. Yay!

Well my week is full of those moments where I have a choice. To either do what makes sense for most people, or to do what I know is good.

It's amazing to find that each one of these choices is just as hard, just as difficult as the previous one. It doesn't get any easier to serve God, you see because no matter what happens or how good serving the Lord is we still have to make the choice to act for him each time. That is part of how we show our love for Him, by making the decision to do what He brings glory to Him.

Thursday morning brought a lesson with 10th graders, poorly motivated and rude young people who seem to sap the energy from you. I made the choice to go in that lesson this week, I chose to love God by my actions. The lesson was probably one of the best yet, and without doubt the most successful in forming relationships between myself and the class. Somehow God had softened their hearts, and we were able to talk together.

Day by day I am learning that when I make a choice for God it is always a good choice. It may not be easy to go through with all of these decisions, but it is worth it.

I want to encourage you that being a follower of Jesus is making constant decisions to bring glory to Him and to bring His kingdom to earth.

It's not easy, but it is good!

this one's a bit more informative...

2007-09-27T00:02:00.001+03:00

Please take time to read the other blog, be afraid it's called.
It's just I thought some people might want a bit of news as well.

I am very tired, which is a great sign that work has been starting to pile up a little. Every day I seem to closer to having a set schedule for each week.

For example I now know that at 8 o'clock every monday morning I have to be in Jakomaki to help the caretaker of two schools. This means that for three hours I can be sweeping leaves, litter picking, shovelling snow and anything else he wants help with on the schools grounds.

Also I know that I have at least six lessons every week where I act as a teaching assistant for 12-16 year olds. This is a massive challenge as most of them don't speak English confidently and knowledge of how English works is not brilliant. But I am at least getting through to some of them.

Organisation is good. I never thought I would say it, however it is true. There is space for lots of different things but it is good to have nailed down one or two things more securely.

Each lesson is a brand new challenge of how to communicate not only the subject of the lesson but also God's love for the young people. It means reaching out to each kid and in most cases getting knocked down by their response. It has been difficult especially with one or two classes, the pupils don't wish to learn and the teacher I am helping has given up on them. Serving them is a struggle that saps my energy, please pray that I would know how best to communicate both God's and my own love for them in practical ways.

Most of the kids here are very shy and I am having a lot of fun trying to get them to speak to me in their lessons. Creativity is needed constantly in reaching out to them, as is charisma and energy. These are things I thought I had, yet I am finding out that being loud or extrovert doesn't always (maybe in most cases) help you get through to people. A real test of who I am is on the horizon with each new period of silence after asking a question. I need the Lord more and more to help me in finding the right things to say. It is reliance on God word by word.

Above all I am having great fun here, this weekend I went away with some friends and helped cut down some trees, fix a roof and unblock some drains in their summer cottage. A very manly and Finnish weekend.'

Being away hasn't proved too hard, well I haven't cried yet is what I mean. As long as emails keep coming I am sure it will still be good in month or so. I wonder if I am allowed to praise God for things like email, facebook and the telephone?! They seem to be being used by Him a lot to care for and encourage via others.

Please feel free to email me (gooney_rockon@hotmail.com) if you want to know a bit more about what you can pray directly for. Or even just if you want to say hey, all emails are gratefully received and will be be replied to asap.

Thanks for taking the time to read and be blessed

Chris

be afraid...

2007-09-26T23:24:00.000+03:00

This week in reading the Bible I have been continually struck by the word 'fear'. In say 75% of the references I have seen the words fear of the Lord. Today's church teaches so much about God's love, that I had started to think of God as my big cuddly all-powerful Dad. I was comfortable with Him. As I read the scriptures I found that I should fear God and that it was a blessing to do so.

So what does that mean, here and now? How does that change my everyday in Helsinki, in school, in the community?

God is starting to give me a little insight.

Fearing God here and now means knowing that He could withdraw all grace, all love and support from me. In one second He could remove my life from this planet and it wouldn't make Him any less God.

That changes my every single day, as I begin to recognise that each day is by the GRACE and MERCY of my God.

Every word He speaks is GRACE.

Every time He provides is MERCY.

Every moment of being here is a chance to tell people of the LORD ALMIGHTY who is able to destroy them but stays His hand.

The Lord is to be feared, it humbles me that He has chosen me to come here and represent Him in all I do. His grace is increased by my fearing Him. His mercy is made more beautiful with each moment of this rightly placed fear.

Pray that I may communicate this MERCY and this GRACE to the people of Jakomaki.

Pray that this week I will fear God and love Him more because of it.

Taste and see that the Lord is good.
Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!
Fear the Lord, you his godly people,
for those who fear him will have all they need.

Psalm 34 :6-9

The first week of the rest of my life!

2007-09-19T23:03:00.000+03:00

Well hello there! Or should I say terve!

Yeah, that word right there, terve is finnish for hello.

I have now been living in Finland for a week, it's been a really great experience so far. Which sounds a bit naive of me, of course the first week will be good some people might think. However there have been many times during these past seven days when things could have gone terrible wrong. I have managed to take part in four lessons, give a preach and take a two hour youth talk without being too embarrassed or making a fool of myself in Finnish.

But enough with me talking you through my diary what I really want to be able to focus on in this blog is what God is doing in, with and through me whilst I reside in Finland. This will mean hopefully you will get a quick look into how I am feeling and what I am thinking as I journey with and for God in Helsinki and the world of youth work.

So let me give you some of the highlights of what God has done.

For a great big an-climax look no further than my first day last week, I spent the morning and the afternoon playing with my host's kids in a park. I was experiencing that anti-climax feeling when suddenly God broke in on the moment. I wish pushing 3 yr old Eero on the swing and heard God whispering to me about how He enjoys spending time with me. You see really I was loving playing with Eero and his sister Petra, aged 5. He just showed me that He watches over me, like I had to watch the children and that He loves spending time with me as much as I was enjoying the games in the park. This may not seem to be too major a thing to most people, but you see I have just left almost everything I love in another country to come and follow God. It was so amazing to find God taking the time to just hang out with me and tell me He loves me, that alone made moving here worth it.

The second big highlight of the week which I will tell you about was hearing the teacher in one of the schools say how grateful she was that I could help her. She said that just having me there had made a difference! I couldn't help smiling, it just seemed to me to be praise that I have waiting to hear all my christian life. Just me being somewhere made a difference, that is all I am called to do, to make a difference in people's life. To bring peace and joy in classrooms in Finland, to bring hope in the lives of young people. You and I have a very simple task, to go somewhere and let Jesus shine through...when we do it will always make a difference!

My week has been good.

And God has been good all the time.

But it wouldn't be real to leave you with this totally rosy picture.

Because there have been hard moments, there are hard moments. I don't understand the language, I don't have any money and this is my 7th or 8th straight week living out of a rucksack. Lastly I miss my closest friends and family like nothing I have ever experienced before.

But those hard moments are filled with a hope, grace and mercy.

Those are the moments perhaps when God seems closest.

thanks,

chris